“How can something that feels so good possibly be bad?” That is one argument I’ve heard in favor of having unrestrained sexual freedom. “If two people love each other,” it is often said, “what is wrong with being physically intimate with that person?” Others declare that premarital sex must be OK for them because “we love each other and are committed to each other, but we just don’t want to get married right now.”
In fact, our modern culture has declared morality to be dead. We are told that abstinence is not realistic. Our society tells us that self-restraint is an old-fashioned idea that doesn’t make sense in our modern world. We are constantly pressured to admit that everyone is having sex, and that they really can’t help it.
When you think of it that way, it seems unfair for God to restrict the physical relationship to a marriage. Is God against having fun? Do His limits on sex still apply today?
Stick with me for a couple of minutes because I want to share four truths that you may not see anywhere else.
Multiple sexual partners are harmful to the body. According to researchers at the Centers for Disease Control there are 20 million new cases of Sexually Transmitted Diseases every year in America. They estimate that about 110 million Americans presently have an STD Sexual sin enslaves the mind. Sex is a very powerful force, and it can easily dominate our thinking. Sex can become an obsession. This explains why so many people (mostly men) are addicted to pornography. It can be much like an alcoholic who is constantly thinking about the next time he can have a drink. It is also important to point out that when sensual thoughts are allowed to rule, a person has less time and energy to invest in worthwhile pursuits. Paul reminded the Christians in his day that before they gave their hearts to Christ they “… all formerly lived in the lusts of [their] flesh, indulging the desires of the flesh and of the mind…” (Ephesians 2:3). “Beloved, I urge you … to abstain from fleshly lusts which wage war against the soul” (1 Peter 2:11). Loose morals often destroy relationships. We all know of (or have experienced) marriages that were destroyed by sexual sin. Having multiple sexual partners also hinders the pleasurable intimacy that God intended for married people to enjoy. That is why God said, “Marriage is to be held in honor among all, and the marriage bed is to be undefiled; for fornicators and adulterers God will judge” (Hebrews 13:4). Any sexual relationship can create life. When lives are created outside of a marriage commitment, children are the ones who suffer the most. God’s ideal plan for children is for them to have a family where a man and a woman are committed to loving each other and to loving them. Relationships that are built on selfishness rarely provide a nurturing environment for those little children who are the result of those relationships. Jesus said, “Whoever causes one of these little ones who believe to stumble, it would be better for him if, with a heavy millstone hung around his neck, he had been cast into the sea” (Mark 9:42). By the way, since life is a precious gift from God, killing the unborn child only adds to the sin. “Behold, children are a gift of the Lord, the fruit of the womb is a reward” (Psalm 127:3). The habit of “hooking up” is dangerous, but there is a wonderful solution. Even if you have already given in to any immoral behaviors, there is hope for you. First, though, you must be ashamed of that sinful behavior. As Thomas Manton (an old English pastor) put it, “When a people are past shame they are past hope; such do dare God to punish them.” If, on the other hand, you are ashamed of your sin, then there is great hope. Turn from your sin and embrace the forgiveness that Jesus has already purchased for you on the Cross. There is glorious hope in Christ. God is so powerful and so loving that He is able “… to make you stand in the presence of His glory blameless with great joy” (Jude 24). Jesus wants to make you clean!
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