Maybe you can relate to an experience I had recently. I read something I had never thought of before, but when I read it, it instantly made perfect sense. I’m humbled that I had never thought of it.
Let me share an example. Yesterday I read an article in which psychiatrist, Karl Benzio, M.D., argued convincingly that there is a direct link between unforgiveness and drug abuse. His explanation is very interesting. Holding on to painful feelings can drive a person to drugs or alcohol as a way to numb the pain and to feel better about the anger. If the emotional pain could be removed, there would be no need for mind-numbing drugs.
Emotional pain can come at us from many different directions. Maybe your father (or mother) showed very little affection for you as a child, or someone abused you. Your spouse may have cheated on you, or a close friend could have betrayed you. Other people may have spread damaging lies about you, or broken important promises. The list could go on and on.
Here is how you can tell if you are struggling with unforgiveness. Complete this sentence: I get angry and/or tearful every time I think about _________________. Everyone would fill in that blank differently, but the results would be much the same—deep emotional pain.
Emotional pain has consequences. For example, over a long period of time the stress from emotional pain can cause us a lot of physical problems. While that is happening, the pain will also rob us of our happiness and a much-needed feeling of contentment. People who carry feelings of unforgiveness are generally not happy people.
That’s not all, though. Jesus even went a step further. He warned us that if we have an unforgiving attitude toward others, it proves that we don’t have God’s forgiveness. That has eternal consequences! See Matthew 6:14-15.
How can we forgive others when we really don’t feel like it?
Here is where we need to begin: Seeing how we have offended the One who made us is the first step toward removing the pain that others have caused us. Think about it this way. As our Creator, God deserves our devotion and attention. In spite of that, “All of us like sheep have gone astray, each of us has turned to his own way….” (Isaiah 53:6). Because of our rebellious independence, we think that we can live our lives apart from the One who made us. That kind of arrogance is highly offensive and hurtful to God. Once we understand how badly we have treated God, we can begin to see that the pain others have caused us is small in comparison.
When we humbly embrace the forgiveness from God that we so desperately need, it frees us up so we can let go of the hurts from others. “How blessed is he whose transgression is forgiven, whose sin is covered! How blessed is the man to whom the Lord does not impute iniquity, and in whose spirit there is no deceit!” (Psalm 32:1–2).
God’s forgiveness is precious beyond words because of how much it cost Jesus to provide it for us: “He Himself bore our sins in His body on the cross… for you were continually straying like sheep, but now you have returned to the Shepherd and Guardian of your souls” (1 Peter 2:24–25).
Surrendering to God’s forgiveness is the beginning of great joy. As David put it, “Serve the Lord with gladness; come before Him with joyful singing” (Psalm 100:2). Nineteenth Century British pastor Charles Spurgeon said, “None but God can give back this joy; He can do it; we may ask it; He will do it for his own glory and our benefit. This joy comes not first, but follows pardon and purity….”
The joy of being forgiven by God infuses us with the strength to let go of the hurts that others have caused us. “Therefore repent and return, so that your sins may be wiped away, in order that times of refreshing may come from the presence of the Lord” (Acts 3:19).
We are then free to forgive others in the same way that the Lord has forgiven us. “… forgiving each other, whoever has a complaint against anyone; just as the Lord forgave you, so also should you” (Colossians 3:13).
When you accept the package deal that comes with God’s forgiveness, then you will want to shout: “The Lord lives, and blessed be my rock; and exalted be God, the rock of my salvation” (2 Samuel 22:47). If you are interested in learning more about God’s forgiveness, I’d be glad to talk to you or send you some free information. You can leave a message for me at 215-533-4395 or write to me at BethelChapelChurch@gmail.com.
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